Leather Life -- Gay and Not Gay

I'm not into the leather scene as such -- although I enjoy the macho atmosphere of most leather bars -- but in honor of this weekend's Folsom East Leather Pride fair in New York, I'm posting an article I did last summer for The New York Blade [it's no longer available in the paper's archives, unfortunately]:


LEATHER SCENE NOT AS GAY AS IMAGINED


by Bill Schoell

Last June 22nd 2008 a Leather Pride Fair took over the far west end of 11th avenue and was well-attended despite the afternoon downpour. This coming August 15th t0 17th the New Jersey Convention Center in Edison, New Jersey will play host to Floating World, a leather/S&M/ kink/ alternative-sexuality gathering hosted by over 32 groups who expect nearly 1000 attendees. There will be a host of classes, workshops, and parties dedicated to everything from “pony play” to “whips” to the old reliable bondage and discipline. [Registration for the event is now closed.]

How many of the Floating World attendees will be gay or lesbian? “Hard to say,” Dan, one of the organizers of the event, told The Blade, “as we don't ask and many people come for many reasons. Someone may be here for Pony Play and we would never know if they're gay or straight, just Pony - Or M/s [Master/slave] or bondage. And we really don't care. Still, I would guess about 20% or so. But then, how do you measure transpersons? Or bi people, or poly? We just take everyone as they come and try to make them as comfortable as possible.” [For the record, “Pony Play” does not refer to bestiality, but to role-playing where one participant pretends to be a horse or pony and another pretends to be a trainer or rider etc.]

Still, events like Floating World make it clear that the leather/s&m/fetish scene – which many people have always seen as being somehow exclusively or predominantly gay – is something separate and distinct, pansexual in nature. Likewise, gay people, traditionally looked upon as strange sexual outlaws, have been seen by straights (and many gays) as somehow “kinkier” than heterosexuals. Or at least more open-minded about outre sexual practices. But some erotic activities practiced by alternative sex groups may make standard gay sex seem blase in comparison, as well as raise the eyebrows even of the most sophisticated members of the LGBT community.

Why has the leather scene long been considered a sub-culture of the gay community? In every large city gay men in their leather regalia can be seen heading towards the local Eagle or Ramrod. Because there are no equivalent heterosexual leather bars (although there have been underground s&m clubs), people have come to the erroneous conclusion that the leather/s&m/kink scene is strictly a gay phenomenon. Nothing could be further from the truth. For instance, The Eulenspiegal Society is a New York-based S&M group that caters largely to straights.

“Since there are other groups in NYC dedicated to gay-males and lesbians, TES tends to get bisexuals and heterosexuals as members,” Susan Wright of TES told The Blade. (Wright is also a spokesperson for the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.) According to Wright, “It's true that there are more gay leather bars - there aren't any het BDSM bars because you can't play in the same space as liquor is sold. BDSM clubs that allow playing are non-alcoholic, and these clubs cater to gays as well as hets and bi's on different nights under different promoters. Gay men don't play in the leather bars - they go there to meet other gay men. Very similar are the many swing clubs around the U.S. that meet at bars where the members socialize, and then if they want to play they leave to go to another location.”

She adds that “The large majority of the 500 BDSM social and educational groups in America are pansexual and tend to have bisexuals and heterosexuals as members.” Gays and Lesbians account for only 20% of the scene.

It’s also true that many homosexual leather people identify more with the leather scene – or the particular fetish scene they belong to – than they do with the gay community. Asked if leather people resented the fact that leather/s&m was not included in “LGBT,” Tip, the President of New York’s Iron Guard BC [Brotherhood Club] felt the need to deny the very premise. He told The Blade: “As one of the many fetish groups, the Leather community feels more comfortable with Leather Men and Women – we all share a similar code of behavior, tradition, kink, and protocols [that is] not shared by the entire LGBT community.” As for the misapprehension that all leather men are gay he said “Don’t let the Hell’s Angels hear you speculating they are mostly gay ” (But one could certainly speculate if there are gay Hell’s Angels )

Being part of the leather scene can simply mean one has a fetish for leather outfits or “it can signal a vast ocean of sensual opportunities,” according to Tip. These not only include BDSM but puppy-play, water sports and fist-fucking, which “was practiced in India long before there was any s/m associations.” Tip feels that “‘real’ leather bars no longer exist in NYC. ..While I can never get my fill of leathered eye candy,” he says, “leather men aren’t known for their trimmed, svelte and/or buffed bodies. Today it seems there’s more of a leather-for-fashion fetish than leather men.” (It should be noted that while some leather men are non-svelte bears, most bears are not into the leather scene.)

When it comes to women in the leather scene, what comes to most people’s minds are stereotypical whip-wielding dominatrixes who are straight and have a male heterosexual clientele. In fact, there are many lesbians who are into leather, s&m and fetish play. New York’s Lesbian Sex Mafia is only one of several groups for gay and other women who are into the scene. Others are Tribe/New Jersey Leatherdykes and Dyke Uniform Corps.

Fearful of discrimination for practices that others outside the scene might find childish at best or repellant at worst, Leather people – regardless of orientation – seem to be more closeted and secretive than gays. [Neither the board of Lesbian Sex Mafia nor Gay Male S/M Activists, also based in New York, responded to The Blade’s request for an interview.] Perhaps the secrecy is part of the appeal of the scene.

Tip of the Iron Guard says “I believe Lucille Ball is credited with saying ‘There are some doors better left unopened.’ Leather men have opened them. [They] see the world, even the ‘regular’ gay community, through a different pair of glasses.

“We know things, play with sensations, excite eroticism that vanilla sex doesn’t even dream of.”

Originally published in The New York Blade 2008.

Sex Groups You May Never Have Heard Of

Okay, people. I know you've all heard of homosexuals, heterosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals, and asexuals, but it's recently come to my attention that there are many, many other sex-oriented groups and minorities out there that you may have been unaware of. For example:

Vegan sensualists: These are people who are only sexually attracted to vegetables. It gives a whole new meaning to the term "carrot top!"

Ambidextrous ambisexuals: These people insist, rather haughtily, that they are very different from "ordinary" bisexuals. "We are ambidextrous as well as bisexual," says Jeremy N. a representative of the group. "Not only can we shake hands with either our right or left hand, but we can screw both a man and a woman at exactly the same time."

Intersectionists: I've mentioned these before. I'll let Joey Taylor, the President of Intersectionists International, explain it. "Do you have a friend you've known for years but whose home you've never been to, in fact you only have a vague idea of where he lives and the two of you always meet at some intersection? Our orientation is to intersections, which is our fetish. We are turned on by avenues meeting streets, and prefer to have sex only at intersections. Hence no one ever sees our apartments." O-kay.

anal retentive narcissists: These are people who are only turned on by their own assholes.

excessive avoirdupois-ists: These people used to be called "chubby chasers" before the term became politically incorrect.

extra hemorrhoidal action activists: People who find it sexy that they -- or their sex partner -- has hemorrhoids. This group is organizing and planning many militant actions to advance their cause and stamp out hemorrhoidal-obia.

anti-transvestism interiorists: These people insist that they are only "interior" transvestites in that they refuse to dress up in male or female drag. There is a raging debate as to whether they are true transvestites or not. Madame LaBanca, drag queen par excellance, insists that "Honey, these mothers are closet transvestites too hung up to come out in all their finery. I am the real deal, they are just TV wannabees." [I'm staying out of this one!]

ambidextrous fruitandveggie ambisexual sensualists: The 7 members of this group insist that they are not only different from bisexuals, but from ambidextrous ambisexuals and vegan sensualists. "Please!" says group leader Maggie LaFarge. "Those people are so vanilla, so limited. We don't just have sex with vegetables, but fruits as well, and we can have sex with two people at the same time while juggling bananas and cucumbers."

adolphitis-ists: These are people who are only attracted to men or women who look like Adolph Hitler, including the mustache.

joanrivers-ites: These are people who can only have sex with anyone who has obviously had a great deal of plastic surgery. They are the exact opposite of robertredford-ites who are only attracted to people who have obviously not had plastic surgery.

jerkoffmoviemusicalists: These are people who can only get off while watching old movie musicals. Since they're generally unable to find people to watch along with them, they wind up jerking off.

masculinefemaledressers: These men are a variety of drag queen but instead of trying to look as feminine as possible, they put on women's clothing but eschew make up, wear beards, and are very macho. Sometimes they are called "bra bears" but this is considered mfd-phobic.

antidisestablishment sex heads: These are people who run around giving sudden blow jobs to surprised -- indeed shocked -- people in the most unlikely places, such as the supermarket, church, and The Center for Asexual Studies.. They see themselves as a kind of guerrilla movement. "Our job is to blow your mind while we're blowing your joint!" says Poindexter Twittle, the movement's founder. Mr. Twittle has asked me to say that the group is in desperate need of legal defense funds due to the number of arrests. At last count, virtually the entire membership was in jail.

atomicmutantxites: People who are only sexually aroused by members of Marvel Comics mutant super-hero team, The X-Men. Since the X-Men are merely fictional comic book characters, the members of this minority do not get laid very often, and Hugh Jackman has had to take out restraining orders on several of them.

flatulovables: are people who are turned on by flatulence. They publish a newsletter which is printed on toilet paper and entitled "Gastric Mistress."

Bettina Linney is a woman who insists that she alone is a persecuted minority group. "How can you be a minority group when you're only one person?" Miss Linney is asked on a regular basis. She replies that, "Look, like, it's this way, I don't really see how that's relevant. I mean, how dare you judge me and tell me who or what I am? You're a bigot, bigot, bigot!"

If you know of any more, let me know!