Law and Order: SVU Hits Rock Bottom

You know I've complained that I'd like to see an honest-to-goodness gay activist on one of the Law and Order programs, but what they gave us instead on last night's Law and Order: SVU [3/3/10] was anything but.

Comedienne Kathy Griffin [who seems to have latched onto the LGBT community as some sort of audience niche] played Babs Duffy, supposedly a lesbian activist who heads a group with a cute name. Although she is criticized by another character for concentrating on lesbians instead of the whole LGBT spectrum,- -- what's wrong with that; I mean, she is a lesbian [more on that later] -- she snidely snaps at Detectives Benson (Mariska Hargitay) and Stabler (Christopher Meloni) when they say they support the LGBT community: "That's L G B T Q I A community!" [Yes, the Q is for questioning, the I is for intersexed, and the A is not for Asexual but for Allies. Stabler remarks that he just isn't up on his political correctness and I could have kissed him, even though Meloni is not my type.]

So right away we're getting inconsistencies. But it gets worse.

Babs is all worked up because she believes an unknown man is targeting lesbians. It turns out that she's right. But one of the first suspects is actually the lesbian lover of the first victim; she is a very tough, aggressive, and violent lady. The show's recurring gay character, the nice Asian-American psychiatrist, of course explains that the gay/lesbian community is just as diverse as any other community -- very good point -- and this rather butch brutal lesbian is only one type of gay gal.

It's good that this point is made because the show also has one lesbian saying "we don't hang out with a lot of men," and completely ignoring the male Stabler, when most of the lesbians I've met not only don't ignore men but have many loving male friends.

Meanwhile Babs, who's so concerned about this investigation, bothers to stop to sort of flirt with the pretty D.A., and even comes on to Detective Benson.

But wouldn't you know there's a Law and Order twist, which might have looked good on paper but is just disastrous. The strident, ever-so-lesbian Babs has actually been dating a man for the past few months and told no one. Seems that at about age forty-five she realized she was also attracted to the opposite sex. She's realized that she's actually bisexual.

At age forty-five?

I mean, she never noticed that she found some men attractive long before that? Are we to believe that? True, she may have spent most of her time with women in her adult years, but surely she hung out with some guys in high school and college. Surely she saw men in magazine and TV ads. I mean, come on!

I'm sure the writer -- a guy named Daniel Truly [truly you jest!] thought this was very clever and all pc and hip bisexual and all that -- but it's also remarkably stupid.

People may repress their homosexuality -- but their heterosexuality! I doubt it. If Babs came to realize -- rightly or wrongly -- that she was bisexual, why wouldn't she have re-invented herself as a bisexual activist long before this? I mean, they do exist after all.

It's almost as if they were reinventing that awful old cliche: a woman is only a "dyke" until she meets the right man -- giving it a pc "bi" twist. But it still comes off as Godawful!

Realism was sacrificed for the all-important twist, but Truly could have delivered the twist and saved himself from severe script embarrassment in a very simple manner. Suppose Babs had been romancing this guy not because she was bisexual, but because she suspected he was the killer and wanted to get inside his head or something along those lines. Sure, when she finds out the killer is targeting her she's understandably "petrified," but she also comes off as a pretty tough broad. In any case, the show could have come up with a more believable explanation for why she was involved with this mysterious fellow.

At least Truly resisted making Babs straight. Just as we've now got imbeciles claiming that some guys who seek out sex with men [outside of prison, mind you] are really straight, I figure it's only a matter of time before there will be dumb-nuts claiming that some women who seek out gals to have sex with are really hetero as well.

Now I have met a few obnoxious gay activists in my day, and I have certainly met a few totally obnoxious bi-identified women, but Babs -- lesbian or bi -- gets the prize for one of the most obnoxious activists of any stripe ever. In her belligerence [it is suggested she acts like a nasty "dyke" to cover up her craving for men or some such stupidity] she comes off more like a caricature than a real person. I don't think Griffin will be getting a Emmy for this portrayal; in any case she doesn't deserve one as her performance is only average.

Even more annoying is that the publicity for the show claimed that Griffin shared a kiss with Mariska Hargitay. Never happened. Instead Griffin -- as Babs -- locked lips with Christopher Meloni and asked male Detective Stabler to call her for a date.

So this is Law and Order's idea of a "lesbian activist!"

Were there changes made to the script? Did supposedly gay-friendly Griffin ultimately balk at the idea of playing a "dyke" and prefer to go "bi" instead, sharing a kiss with the male detective instead of the female? [Frankly a kiss between Babs and Olivia Benson would have been ridiculous, as Benson has never been depicted as either gay or bi in all these years, but did they have to go to the other extreme instead?]

At least the script had enough sensitivity -- if you could call it that -- for Babs to realize that many of her followers would feel betrayed [it wasn't clear if she had a lesbian lover or not, who would especially feel betrayed on more than one level] and it didn't go so far as to make them out to be "biphobic" bigots, although who knows what would have happened had there been enough time to go into all of the ramifications. Like I've said before, the fast-moving Law and Order programs throw all sorts of things and issues out at the viewer but never take time -- never have time -- to explore these issues in any great depth.

In any case, middle-aged gays who "suddenly" realize that they're attracted to the opposite sex are generally just unhappy people who want to go straight -- they are not militant lesbian activists who simply took, like, half of their lives to realize they were really bi! The very idea is not only ludicrous but idiotic; even offensive.

So I'm still waiting for a real gay activist to show up on Law and Order.

Not-so-Gay George, Gay Pride, and Gay Rights

The other night I ran into a man I've known for quite a few years -- I'll call him George. George and I are "bar friends" -- we run into each other once in a while, don't necessarily know that much about each other's personal lives, don't exchange phone numbers or make dates. We were never "ships that passed in the night." We just talk, have drinks, laugh a lot.

I'm very fond of George. he has a great sense of humor and is a lot of fun. George is very flamboyantly gay, and loves to get tight and "carry on" a bit. Yes, he can be a little ... well, overpowering ... at times but he seems to have a basically kind nature.

We were enjoying our conversation when I said to him -- as I often say to people -- "I love being gay, I love being part of the gay community -- don't you?"

I expected that he would readily agree, but instead he replied in the negative. Not only did he not like being gay, I got the impression he didn't even think it was particularly okay to be gay.

Now, because he is very "obvious" he may have had to deal with a great deal more persecution than the average gay guy (although some of his "flamboyance" is created by his "camping it up," which of course he has a perfect right to do if he wants to) but I felt a bit shocked and saddened by the disparity between his happy gay outward image and the inner negativity that apparently is his constant reality.

He may have had a sad life -- I know he's told me of some things -- but there isn't a person alive who doesn't have some sadness in his or her life. I suspect he never found the great love of his life that he was looking for. I don't know what else might have gone "wrong." But I got the impression that he was one of these people who blame their sexual orientation for their unhappiness. You can try and tell them that they might be just as unhappy if they were straight, but they'll never believe you. Their internalized homophobia is too deeply entrenched.

This kind of personality is not limited to the gay community of course. There are undoubtedly members of other minorities/oppressed groups who tell themselves they would finally be happy if only they belonged to some other group. It's so easy to blame your orientation or skin color or anything else. Sometimes people step into their own traps and have nobody to blame but themselves, and this of course is the most difficult thing to deal with of all. How much easier to say "I'd be so much happier if I were hetero." Not likely. Happiness can often be based on external things, but just as often it has to do with your state of mind.

People like George distrust, even hate, Gay activists. When I mentioned how I had been -- still am -- a militant activist he launched into some story about a bunch of gay guys talking about sex in front of some kids at Disneyworld. What on earth had that to do with anything? What has that got to do with Gay Rights? But this is how people like George think -- to them the gay movement has less to do with promoting healthy attitudes about gays both within and without the community, with securing the rights that every human being deserves, than it has to do with the right of people to be vulgar in public or something along those lines. I said to him, "I don't think the National Gay Task Force or anybody else is saying it's necessarily okay to talk about sex -- gay or straight -- in front of little kids." But that to him was "Gay Rights."

The irony is that if George camped it up or was just being himself down in Disneyworld, I can imagine some of the looks he would get and comments he would engender. Those awful gay activists would go to bat for him if something went wrong, I can tell you.

But George will never believe it.

I still like George, hope to run into him again. But I don't think I can ever see him in quite the same way. He is so gay -- one type of gay, at least -- but he is completely devoid of gay pride.

You see, I really do love being gay. And I have difficulty relating to gay people who don't feel the same.

Gay versus "Ex-Gay" -- Guess Who Wins?

Just watched The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, which featured a sketch in which a medical mystery examiner investigated the case of one Wayne Besen [photo on the left], who realized he was gay at an early age. Besen seeks the “cure” which is promised by Richard Cohen, the asshole author of a self-published 1991 book entitled Coming Out Straight. Cohen was a self-hating homosexual who was celibate for a decade, got married and had three children, had a male lover on the side for a time, but still insists he is totally straight. Sure.

The sketch featured the real Cohen, who didn't seem to realize he was being made fun of – mercilessly. I don't recall the audience being told that Wayne Besen is actually a gay activist who writes wonderful pieces on his web site, and is also the author of Anything But Straight, which excoriates the ex-gay movement. [I'm not certain why the audience wasn't let in on the joke.]

Cohen demonstrates some of his idiotic methods for turning people from gay to straight on the bemused reporter, who suggests that Besen give them a try. Six months later he checks in with Besen, and finds him lustily necking with a boyfriend on the sofa.

Besen was a good sport to participate in this, but I was a little disappointed that he wasn't interviewed or introduced by Stewart, who instead chatted with another author. Still, I'm sure Besen was glad that the show zapped some of these ex-gay idiots as they deserve.

A little nitpicking: There were some dumb moments, but I guess it's only fair – considering the sketch was basically pro-gay and geared for a largely straight audience -- that the presumably straight reporter (I know nothing about the comic actor who portrayed him) act a bit uncomfortable with all the gay – and “ex-gay” -- goings-on. I know they were making fun of Cohen, but the business with the reporter tossing a football at him – which Cohen fumbles – is kind of dopey, especially now that we all should know that there are plenty of gay athletes who'd have no trouble catching a football [a fairly useless talent except on the football field]. We know Cohen isn't straight not because he can't catch a football but because his admitted gay past and boyfriend tell us all we need to know.

What about the three kids? you might ask. Well, most gay men are perfectly capable of having sex with women, even if [for some] it's only a kind of hands-free masturbation as they penetrate the female orifice. (No, we won't get into bisexuality as this point, thank you.) If Cohen was unhappy leading a gay lifestyle, that was his business. But his trying to make a name and career for himself, exploiting people as full of self-hatred as he is to make a buck, is deplorable. To prove that he is now completely straight, Cohen let out a gross "manly" belch [I guess he thinks gay people can't burp – even though he did]. What a buffoon!

On the plus side, we got to see the good-looking Besen happily necking open-mouthed with an equally attractive male lover. Way to go, Wayne! (The irony is that Cohen would probably be very happy to neck with Besen, who would probably want to throw up at the very thought.)