Sunday, June 10, 2007

Go Go Assholes

More than once I've watched a go go boy in a gay bar -- after collecting lots of tips from the men in the bar -- walk over to the one and only woman in the bar and hit on her. While this doesn't convince me that the man is straight, it does convince me that he's an asshole. First there's this tiresome "macho" you-guys-may-be-gay-but-I'm-not nonsense that I don't find remotely gay-friendly. Second, if he wants to pick up a woman, he can easily go around the corner to any number of straight bars in the area. I just think it's tacky and rude. Here are gay guys giving this man their hard-earned money (and they're already spending enough on liquor and tips for the bartenders) and the go go boy gives them a collective slap in the face by ignoring them and making straight for the woman. If the go go boy is seriously not interested in guys or is that repressed or closeted that's his business, but why can't he leave when his shift is over and pick up a woman in another bar? He doesn't have to stay and cruise the guys if he doesn't want to, but why cruise the only woman? It never seems to occur to these intellectually-challenged meat heads, straight, bi, or on the down-low, that the women they hit on may be lesbians, or there with friends, or not have much interest in a supposedly straight guy and major narcissist who wiggles his ass for guys in gay bars.

If the guy is straight-identified, at least let him allow the customers to have their gay fantasies, not spoil it by making a beeline for the woman as if to wash off the taint of being touched by men. I seriously doubt if gay/bi go go boys who occasionally dance for women in straight clubs tell the women that they like guys (again, why spoil the fantasy?)-- so why do the "straight" go go boys in gay bars have to announce in various ways that they're hetero? (Yeah. Right.) It's obnoxious. (And please don't tell me they have a right to be themselves and be straight and all that -- no one is putting a gun to their heads to earn money as alleged fantasy objects.)

To be fair, I have met some very friendly, attractive, openly gay go go boys who seem intelligent and even have a fair degree of gay pride, and there may be straight-identified ones who are more respectful. Generally, however, I prefer to go to a bar that doesn't employ them -- I'd much rather focus on the attainable male customers than on go go boys who often don't even appeal to me sexually. There's something sort of desperate about having to resort to getting a hug from a half-naked male dancer anyway. If they're very hot I suppose it can provide some mild titillation, but many of them aren't even that great. Besides, they tend to disappear -- or hit on women -- when their shift is over, so who cares anyway? In truth I find them an unnecessary distraction. (And why the hell do so many of them shave their bodies, even their chest hair?! Aren't they supposed to be men? What's up with that? I know some people think well-oiled hairless pecs are sexy, but chest hair is a hell of a lot sexier.)

One of the funniest things I ever saw was this go go boy who would walk in to the bar with what I presume was his girlfriend (uh, maybe not.). This gal had the meanest, most defensive and unfriendly face I've ever seen. Was she there to slap away the hands of the gay guys if they got too frisky? Was she supposed to be a reminder that he was straight and off-limits? How was he supposed to get any tips if he couldn't interact in some small way with the customers (generally go go boys will hug, kiss or stroke a guy and sometimes let the customer give him a grope -- I imagine gay ones are a lot more fun than the "straight" ones -- or the dopes who bring their "girlfriends" to the bar.) In any case, I didn't stick around to see what happened. Why put up with shit like this when you can walk down the block to Ty's where there are no go go boys, just gay men who are there to drink, talk, cruise, and have a good time with one another, providing the fantasy (and the promise of a reality to come) themselves and themselves alone.

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